Jedi Wife Trick

There is a Seinfield episode where George insists he can break any girl down after three dates and she will fall for him, no matter how annoying he was the first two times. He likens himself to a commercial jingle; after hearing the Chili's theme song three times, it's stuck in your head.

I bring all this up because Emily was singing songs about donkey balls a few minutes ago, and by balls, yes, I mean testicles.

It just so turns out I have spent the last, I don't know, four years of our relationship, singing songs about donkey balls. In the past, Emily has ignored these songs or rolled her eyes. But tonight, she is singing a classic I have been singing for months: "I Can Show You My Donkey Balls" (set to the tune "I Can Show You the World" from Aladdin).

So either, like George Constanza, I have finally broken her down, or she was really affected by the giant penis mascot she saw in San Francisco.

And just to explain, it's not like I'm some freak with all this donkey balls business. It's just something to do while poking around on the web, waiting while on hold on the phone, driving in the car... Some people twiddle their thumbs, some tap their feet, I choose to sing about, well, donkey testicles. Wait, that is kind of weird.